who knew...

Well everyone knew if I had asked the question, "will I have time to keep up this blog" they would have screamed "NO!". Now I just have to laugh. After 1.5 hours of feeding both babies, there is a brief moment to sit and reflect. My darlings are 3 1/2 months old now. I am shocked that the months of September and October have disappeared. I vaguely remember August. In fact our 3 day stay at Hopkins is a distant memory. Too have blogged through the viral mengitis would have been good. But I would not have been able to. It was complete survival mode. Even now, its complete survival mode. I know that I am not handling this graciously as I think I should. I want to be strong and joyful but there are so many judgments running through my head that it is not fair. This twin thing is hard!!!! I just don't feel like I am up to the task of it.
My prayer: Lord, help me celebrate this beautiful mess You have allowed me to get into and find the joy in all of this because no matter what I wouldn't trade in either one of these girls. this is like my 6th rewrite that is the only reason it sounds somewhat positive and optimistic.

So something positive.... when Isabella smiles and coos, it is amazing!! She is usually so serious but has the sweetest personality! Something has to be bothering her for her to cry. And Mikaela is my party girl. When we went camping (details later) the first night, she was up til midnight, smiling and cooing away. It was adorable. Her face lights up when she smiles and she is a mover and a shaker. They have come so far. They were so little (barely 5lbs and a 6lb 7oz). They are like real babies now. Bella has filled in nicely since her preemie clothes days. I can't wait to see where we go from here.

well ...there is this gut feeling inside me telling me to get cracking. The dishwasher needs to get started, laundry moved over, floors need to be cleaned, and games to be played before one of the three wakes up requiring my attention...