Ruptured Achilles Tendon

Please don't be thrown off by the dates...  This post has been sitting a word doc for quite some time.   In the next few posts, I am going to try and "catch-up" to the current week.  

July 1, 2016

It is hard to put into words the week that I had been having.  My husband was off to Nicaragua for 10 days. I had picked up extra classes at the gym trying to earn some extra vacation money and signed the kids up for swimming lessons.  I also had to pack for our family of 5 to leave on vacation.  It was the 3 kids, 2 dogs, a garden to tend, and myself.  

Journal entries from the week:

6/25:  so thankful for my dad helping me pick peas at 6:30 am before I had to leave for work

6/28: “be strong in the Lord” is in the passive tense – strength is something God gives you

My To-Do list from that week

6/30: Interesting Recap.  This schedule while busier – just has work & kids – it’s been “easier” to manage 

It was definitely hectic and to say that my to do list was long might be an understatement – well just look at page one of it. But things were getting checked off.    

Friday started with me cancelling a coffee date because of that list.  Laundry - check. Start packing – check.   The day moved on as normal. We were off to the gym at 4:30 for Friday Night Boot Camp (which is an absolutely amazing class by the way).   The class ran through the normal warm up.  I did a few things but my right leg was tight. Since I had subbed extra classes the day before, my legs were definitely tired.   SO I decided that for the rest of class, I was not going to participate in class but to coach and “take it easy”.  My class was playing bear crawl tag.  There was laughter and sweat – a great combo.  Through the round, as much as I wanted not to play, I found myself playing the game.   Soon they realized that I was fair game to be tagged. A quick step out of the way to avoid the tag then a big step and POP!   Several people heard the pop and some thought the floor board at broken.  The instance after the pop, I felt like something had kicked me in the back of my leg.  I looked to see what could had fallen on me then I knew.  My face said it all.    My left Achilles tendon had just ruptured.   The class stopped and I hopped to the front of the room.   After I had sat down, I told them to continue playing the game. 

Wrapped with ice

 The next hour was really a blur between instructing class, texting my family (remember my husband is in Nicaragua), and having other staff members come and check on me.   Comparably speaking to childbirth, the pain wasn’t awful.  It was a mix of throbbing and numbness.   When it throbbed, that was a 15+ on a scale of 0-10 for pain.    Class rapped up.  On a loaned pair of crutches, I exited through the back door. My sister was waiting for me and after a moment of hesitation (to take her car or mine) off we went in her car.   We just started driving with no idea where to go (we aren’t crazy about our local hospital).  My mind was racing and the thought to call the Institute of Foot and Ankle Reconstruction at Mercy Hospital in Baltimore.  I had seen a doctor there before.   Kathy and I started talking about where we were going to go – FMH, Mercy, and Carrol – with no decision we pulled off into the park-n-ride to formulate a game plan.  We conferenced called my other sister for extra input and decided to call Mercy.   Kimmi looked up the number for us and while we waiting for the phone number, I realized why I was hesitant not taking my car.  My wallet (licenses, medical card, etc.) was in my car.  With that realization, our game plan was done.   We would call Mercy, order dinner, run an errand, take dinner back to my parent’s house then head out to wherever we needed to.    In calling Mercy, we left a message for the on call doctor and off we went.    

Pizza ordered.  Kathy ran into Walmart and Safeway.   I tried calling my husband then sent him a text.  “IF you could call, that would be great.”   Also, I texted my friend Steph who partially ruptured her Achilles to get her take on it.   

You never know what you do in a situation until you are in the situation.  My mind was trying to prepare for what was next.  I’m a “fix-it” person.  If there is a problem, let’s figure out the plan and fix it.  It’s also hard for me at times because there are times when my gut says to do something but can’t explain why.  For example, the hesitation about which car to take.  My mind didn’t connect that my wallet was in the car but my gut knew.  

At my mom’s house, the plan wasn’t coming together because we had no clue where we wanted to go.  Steph said our local hospital had misdiagnosed her Achilles as a sprain.  “Don’t go there,” she said.    Where then? Was the question. Just as we were gearing up to go somewhere, a call from the 410 area code come in.  It was the on call doctor from Mercy Hospital calling me back.  

I explained the situation and our conversation went like this:

•  “Do you have a boot?”   Yes   Do you have crutches?  Yes, then save your money, put yourself in a boot, stay off it and call us on Tuesday.

• Then I told him that I was supposed to be leaving in 24 hours for our vacation. He was honest and said that I might have to cut my vacation short.

More conversations and I finally decided that I would go on vacation then fly home from NH if the doctor told me too. The kids spent the night at Grandma’s as planned (originally I had several client appointments scheduled the next morning) and I headed home. Mentally, my brain was on go mode to pack, finish laundry, clean … blah blah blah

Me and my backpack trying to do laundry for the trip

Quickly realized:   laundry was in the basement and I was on crutches.   I made it down the stairs to analyze the situation and realized that a backpack was going to be necessary for the things besides my textbooks.   I needed it to carry things around. 

Moved things around then decided it was best if I went to bed…  this was the start of a very long process.  

 

Looking Back:

If you would had asked me that day, I never would had guessed in a million years that my left Achilles tendon would rupture.   My right leg was tight but my left felt fine.   And while my left ankle constantly had problems,  the doctors always checked the achilles and said it felt fine.  Unfortunatley we will never know what actually caused it to blow, we are just left with lots of speculation.   

Functional for Life 

Musselman 2015 Race Report

First things first, I am lousy at blogging but this past Sunday's race can't go without a weekend race report.  My first one ever!

Musselman 2015! 
http://www.musselmantri.com/
#musselman2015

Saturday July 11
Signing up for this race,  the logistics seemed to all make sense.  We were vacationing in New Hampshire the week before the race and we could "just" hop right over to Geneva, NY.  Well as our vacation came to a close, the realization that we had to leave the island at 6:30 am to be on the road by 7:30 at the latest became a hard reality.   Saturday morning we were up at 5 am, enjoyed one last cup of coffee, helped clean camp and we were off...  We left Wolfeboro at 7:30 am with the countdown on.

It would take us 7 hours (without stops) to get to Geneva.  Packet pick up ended at 4 pm with the race meeting at 4:30pm.   With every passing mile and with us missing an exit (that then left us on a toll road with no turn around until it was too late to turn around) the stress increased.   Thankfully the traffic on 495 around Boston was good but I90 was a different story.  We didn't have open roads until we were past the I-84 exit.   The drive across I90 was pretty.  Other than the side effects of hydrating while traveling, our drive was uneventful across Mass.  The kids slept, I danced to music (trying to get my mind off of the urge to go to the bathroom), and my husband cruised behind the wheel.
We continued to cruise across I90 in NY with the estimated time of arrival of 3 pm in Geneva.  But as we started to get closer to our exit, the red line around our exit was growing.  There was a reported accident and Google was reporting 2 hours from our destination when in reality we were only a hour away.   Finally we approached exit 41 and saw the warning sign flashing that there were delays around exit 42.  We opened up Google maps and searched for alternate routes.  With the app guiding us, we landed at packet pickup around 3:00 pm.   Right on track.

We breezed through packet pickup which was impressive to be given a tree and cheese, checked into the hotel, signed the wall and we were early to the 4:30 race meeting!

After a light dinner and trip to Wegmans, we settled back at the hotel to prepare for the next day.   The kids settled in watching a movie. My husband was washing fruit and I started laying out all the gear.   With the gear was spread out on the desk in the hotel room, I started inventory for the next day.   Cleats, helmet, glasses -  check.  Shoes, socks, race belt - check.  Gels, gels and more gels - got it.   All set?  Wait, where's the wetsuit?! Ok ok in the car... now let's try to sleep.   Yea right!

Sunday, July 12
4:30 am the alarm goes off and I hit the snooze.  Coffee in the hotel wasn't being served until 5 am so I knew there was time.   Why get up before the coffee is ready?
4:55 am:  Now it was time to get up.
5:15 am: Coffee in hand.  Packing the bag and double checking everything.   The husband is getting up and packing his stuff for the day.
5:30 am: Wake the kids and load up the car.
5:45 am:  Off to transition.

Being unfamiliar with an area can increase stress on race day.  Thankfully, we had a line of cars to follow into the park.  We followed the guys with flags into our parking space.  Once we were parked, I immediately took notice off all the different tri-bikes around me.    I sighed a little but looked at my roadie - with my aero bars and smiled.  This was my first race on my new bike.

We took the walk down to transition, where immediately I was told where to go and got settled in with my other age groupers.  My friend was 10 spaces over and another friend was the next rack. Setting up transition felt so easy this time.  Almost too easy that I was worried that I forgot something which I did but didn't realize it until I was on the bike.

Transition was closing so I hit the line for the bathroom right behind my friend.  As she was walking out she said something about nerves, and all the ladies behind me nodded their heads and said "we are all there with you!"  Imagining this distance and walking yourself through it is one thing.  Tackling this distance mentally and physically is another.

We took our pre-race photo and with that they called the ladies in pink into the corral.

As we squeezed into the corral, my nerves started to hit me. Closing my eyes and saying a quick prayer, it was time to head out to the water.  Seneca lake was a pretty lake and the water didn't feel as cold as the water temp might had indicated.   We walked out to the the start buoy's and waited for the horn to blow.   And with the horn, we were off! After a few strokes,  my breathing settled in and everything felt good.   This is the first race  that my breathing wasn't out of control and I didn't have to dogie paddle to get it under control.   The water was a tad choppy and there were random amounts of lake-weed that hit my face. One huge piece of lake-weed hit my goggles.  It was my goal to hit open water (without swimming off course) and to finish.   I caught myself one time veering off course but was able to correct it.   The only thing that really caught me off guard was distance between the 3rd & 4th yellow buoy and then how long it took to the boat ramp!  Swimming is not my strong suit.  I felt the tiredness set in and mentally, I had to keep encouraging myself to finish. That it could be done.   About 3/4 the way through, I had decided that I would never do this distance again.  

With the boat ramp insight, I prayed "thank you Jesus" and then was off to the bike.  My transition time was pretty good, 2:29.  Trying to mount for the bike, was rough.  My bike wasn't over the line so I had to start over with that.   About 1 mile and seeing a cyclist with a flat, my heart panicked.  So I hopped off and checked my tires.  Reassured myself that they were good.  Back on the road I went. Once on the road with the feeling like everyone was passing me,  I had to mentally talk myself through it.   Another racer and friend encouraged me to keep up on my gels, so her words rang through my ears.  Checking my distance on the bike and the signs, I breathed deeply only 51 miles to go.  "You got this" is what I kept saying to myself.   5 more miles and what felt like the entire race field went by.  "Keep your pace," is what echoed through my head.   With each passing mile,  I settled into the saddle and found the groove with one stretch my average speed was about 24 mph.   It was crazy fun!!  It was about this point I realized what was forgotten in transition - to open my Poland springs sports water bottle.   So after I had almost wrecked trying to throw out a gel wrapper,  I stopped and took care of the water bottle.  The bike course took us along Cayuga Lake, the rolling hills and lake breeze felt great but started to take a toll on my legs.  With a 90 right turn, into what was our only real climb but also the start of 5 miles of our biggest elevation gain and hills finished off my legs.  Hitting those 5 miles and that first hill on no speed absolutely killed me.  And I can climb! My legs felt so flat through those 5 miles where my average speed was just under 14 mph.   Thankfully there was a fun downhill that took me all the way through to mile 51.  And by that point, everything hurt and I swore to myself that this distance would never be done again.  Coming into the home stretch, I hit every single pothole to add insult to injury.  When I had just told myself "no more", a volunteer yelled positive words of encouragement that in my brain translated to "suck it up you are almost done' and with that, I finished hard!

The more races that I compete in, the more I am taken back by those ladies who are older than I am passing me!  I want to be them when I grow up.   Running into transition with a lady who had the number 51 on the calf was no exception!  She encouraged me that she started at my age (37) and that I could do it.

We ran into transition, racked the bikes, switched shoes and were off.   This portion I knew would kick my butt.  My running had been non-existent since mid-May due to an old ankle injury flaring back up.  After 2 different doctors telling me different things,  I was given the green light to try.  So here I was on the half marathon course trying.  And in that first mile, I was at peace and excited.  My original goal was to finish.  My husband's goal for me was under 7 hours.   My watch told me that there was 3 hours to complete this half marathon and that made my heart leap.   That could be done!  No matter how many people passed, it didn't matter.   The pace was set and kept.   Run and walk for the first 7 miles then kick it in as I had done in so many other races. Around mile 5, my pace was steady and a finish time of 6:30 looked like a real possibility.  Keep the pace, chat with racers.  It was going great!  Then mile 7 hit and my brain said kick it in but something was missing.  Energy was there. Cardiovascular,  everything felt great.   And by completion of mile 8, my legs were done.  It hurt to run. It hurt to walk.   But I kept pushing through.  Just finish was the goal.   There was no more time dream just the urge to be done.  As I came through one of the last aid stations, the volunteer asked if I needed anything.  My reply, "I just need to be done!"  As I slogged away, I heard her chuckle and said she loved my response.  My brain, which told me never to do that swim or bike distance again had embraced the half marathon distance.   I was comfortable with that now.  13.1 miles - no big deal.   But those last 4 miles on Sunday were the most difficult to overcome.  My legs had reached failure and yet I pushed on.   As we reentered the park, the desire to "kick it in" was so great but there was no kicking it in.  It was quite humbling to have to walk the most part of the last 3 miles.  Everything was seizing up.  When my calf seized up,  my brain said "oh no, not with 1/2 mile left".     Finally, rounding the last corner to the finish line there was my husband and 3 kids waiting to give me high 5's.   I was able to run across the finish line.

There is a lot of time to think during a Half Ironman and even more so through the Ironman.  The true test of this distance is reaching down to the depths of your spirit and compelling yourself to get through it.   I learned so much about myself during this race.  I came face to face with my fears and was able to meet them head-on.
Even though I swore never to do this distance again (several times too),  I know my racing future will hold another 70.3.

Push Through from 9/21/14

There are days when our bodies are just tired. We mentally fight with the desire to stay in sweats and exercise.  There are days when it feels like an uphill battle because in reality who really wants to go and exercise, right?! Ok ok I know some of us crazy people love to challenge and push ourselves or it's our happy juice, as I am one of them.  But today... Is a day when the sweats are winning.  

Let's back up.  Today didn't start out that way, there was hope and excited when Annette showed up at 6:10 am.  We headed out to join the bike group. A 33 mile ride was mapped out.  All started out well then came the first hill. Then the realization that my legs just didn't have it. I didn't have it.   Every hill and even downhill was a challenge.  I brought up the back of the pack with gladness.  I knew it wasn't happening today.  My legs said no and my mind didn't fight it.  And that's OK.  Not every day is a rock star workout day and most days it is just a fight to get it in.  What matters is that today I recover and it matters what I do tomorrow.  It matters in how I go forward.   I could let this set me back or move me forward.  

Most of our battles are mental but there are times when out bodies just say no.  The key is to know when to go, to know when your body needs that extra recovery, or to know that you can go but to take it easy.  

So where to go from here: 

With one sweetpea sleeping, the other one and I are watching Tangled (with mommy flipping back to the Orioles game) because my body is done. The sweats are on, the mess is still on the floor and the blankets are calling.
That's ok with me because if I rest today then tomorrow i will be stronger!  

If you need a rest day or your workout doesn't go as planned, take heart - it happens!! Look at your workout plan, make some adjustments.  Most of our progress is made in rest, recovery, and nutrition.   

Cuddles & Baseball

Today was a rare occurrence.... An off - stay at home Saturday.  After a busy day of play, house projects, and digging potatoes, we settle into cuddles and watching baseball.  It it strikes me that it's the moments like this one that we need to cherish.  The little things in our lives are the ones that added together make the greatest impact.  So the next time guilt tries to steal away anything, just remember to count the cuddles :)